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| WOW!!! Its really been along time since i've writen anything in
here! I can't believe all thats happened to me in the last year
or so! Its not like anyone cares or even remembers that i have a
xanga that i write in so for me this is just a relief another way to
express myself!
So where do i begin? Probably with the love of my life, the one i
know is my true love. I know she loves me more then life itself
and it shows everyday and i'm not going to get my heartbroken
again. "Its better to love and lost then never to have been loved
at all" I can say that love has to be two ways in order for it to
be true love. My first experience with it was too much for
me. I thought i had the world and nothing could harm it! I
loved someone and i thought they felt the same way but they
didn't. Love truly is blind, everyone around me was screaming at
me to get out and i didn't listen. Now that i look back at it all
i can say is thank you for showing me what the real world is
like. Its been a year since that happened and i forgive
you. I believed that you were the biggest BITCH to me in the
world, and you know what you were! Someone comes into your life
for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I believe that you were a
reason, You showed to never block out what your true
friends say, love can't be blind you have to see every single inch of
the angles of it otherwise you don't know. You showed me what its
like to fall on my ass and struggle to get back up! I haven't
physically spoken to you since that day in June and slowly and slowly
you faded away and we were living two seperate lives again! We
weren't meant to be but i thank you for showing me another aspect of
life! I hold nothing against you and i wish you the best
throughout your life and you make the right choices!
I had the built inside of me for a long time and it feels good to
finally let go even though i will never forget! I know what true
love is now! The ONLY thing in my life is Evelina! It was
Jacqueleen who told me once that, "you will find that one person who
absolutely loves every single aspect about you and you feel the same
about her!" How true! I met evelina like i've meet all of
my (girl)friends. I meet her through Match.com i believe.
It was back in October and i didn't even remember having those online
profiles anymore. And i got an email one day telling me someone
is interested in you! So having nothing better to lose i look
into it and see that she's a pretty girl and then we end up talking
online! From there i think everyday has been a new adventure, and
each day we fall deeper and deeper in love with each other. I sit
her next to her while she sleeps typing this, and i still can't figure
out how i got so lucky! Evelina you give me absolutely everything
you possibly can! I just want to give you the same in
return! On Christmas Morning a little after midnight i asked
something i never picured myself doing. I proposed to my true
love! Evelina and i have been engaged since then and no one
really knows! I just am not sure if i should tell anyone or
not. We just had our six month anniversary and everything just
happened so fast that im not sure if everyone else is ready to accept
that! Her parents are totally happy its me they love me, even
though our conversations are long do to the language difference!
Her parents came from Bulgaria 12 years ago! So they still speak
that at home with broken english mixed in. I know my parents are
much more traditional and believe in waiting for things like that but i
couldn't help myself. When i know something is true i go for it
and nothing is going to stop me! If anyone is going to read this
they know im in love with my soulmate and we are going to get married
in a couple of years. Just being in her presence i feel like i
can be myself and not hiding myself like i did in the past! I
love every aspect with her! It kills me when we can't spend one
night together i feel so lost and helpless with her in my arms. I
thank God for everything he gave me. A word to all those
out there one day you will find you true meaning in life whether it be
a couple hours from now or a couple of decades its there, wait for it,
when you know it you won't be able to stop yourself!
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| ...SIGH...i totally believe in love at first sight...she makes me weak, i cant wait to see her again!!!
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| THE 2005 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS THE CHICAGO WHITE SOX!!! ITS ABOUT TIME!!! SORRY CUBS MAYBE NEXT YEAR???
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| This really sucks i've had a headache for the last 6 almost 7 days
now...So i know i've mentioned this girl Martha before the one that i
work with...and all my loyal readers know that i've had a thing for her
for a while...and i finally asked her out and nothing came of it becuz
she just started seeing someone...I need some opinions...now Sweetest
Day is Saturday and im thinking about getting her a simple pink rose
and maybe cute little puppy stuffed animal because she loves puppies,
and then putting it in her coin vault at work so when she opens it up
she sees it and she'll get all excited...i don't want her to break up
her other relationship but i also want to show her that she does mean
something to me...sooooo any opinions?...If i don't hear anything thing
im going to go with my instinct and do this!!!
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| OMG...its been like forever since i've updated with a new entry...sorry
all my loyal readers...which is like no one!?! But anyways i've
been doing just fine! Working my ass off at work! Being a
supervisor sucks, because i still have my usual work load but now i
have to oversee and deal with EVERYTHING
that happens...Oh well...waiting for that damn raise...hopefully
soon!!!! But other then that a lot has been happening
lately, i think in my last entry i wrote about asking Martha out, well
i finally grew the balls to do that, it was hard because i work with
her everyday and i've had a crush on her since i first started, but
anyways i did finally ask and i find out that she just started seeing
someone  ...but she did say that im a great
guy and she find me absolutely hilarious, and any girl is foolish if
they don't go out with me! I wish other saw it that way
though...but she did say that if anything was to happen between her and
her current "fling" im am definitely next in line  !!!
But in the meantime i just have to get out there! Well i just got
back from going out with Christine...this was the first time we went
out since...we parted ways...it was sooo good going out with her, we
caught up on what we have missed in the past month...i love hanging out
with her, she's such a cool person and she can talk your ears off which
is exactly what i need someone to do, because im much more of a
listener! I wish things could of worked out with her, im thinking
about asking her again if she would like to try something again!...its
not like we split up for any bad reason we just didn't have time at the
time, we'll see...ill sleep on it tonight...and maybe something will
come to me in my dreams?
...in other news i was talking with Martha the other day about all the
shit thats been going down lately and i really don't know what to
expect and how much worse it may get, so she suggested that i go to her
psychic...im really thinking about going...she said she's never been
wrong on her predictions and they ALWAYS come true...i'd love to know
whats in my future...but for now i'll take it second by second...but i
think im going to go...thats all for now...soo ill keep you all
informed...
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